Break My Heart
by Sugarbubbleslove
Summary: She stayed strong up until now, she has completed what she had set out to do, and it was time for her heart to break.


Title: Break My Heart

Characters: Alistair/Fem-Cousland

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone/anything from the forum Dragon Age. Bioware owns Dragon Age and its characters. There is no copyright infringement intended. I do not make any profit/money or take any credit.

Summary: She stayed strong up until now, she has completed what she had set out to do, and it was time for her heart to break.

Timeline: After breaking out of Fort Drakon but before the Landsmeet

Warning: Angst and slight violence

Author's Notes: I, like many others, was disappointed with the aftermath of killing Arl Howe in the Noble Origins storyline.

Break My Heart

She made her way into the room she had been given at Arl Eamon's mansion within Denerim. Her armour barely made a sound as she closed her door behind her, barely missing her hound as he quickly darted in after her.

She rested her back against the door, her eyes closing as tears welled up, one slipping free before she roughly wiped it away.

Her hound sat at the head of the copper bath, unusually solemn with his dark eyes trained on his mistress. The bath had been filled near to the brim with hot water, the steam gently emanating from it. There was even a sweet smell coming from the liquid.

She took no notice as she pushed herself off the door, crossing the room before she came to a stop near her wardrobe, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the looking-glass. With a heavy sighed, she steeled herself, turning around.

She took a look in the looking-glass to see blood splattered upon her features. With a twist of her lips, she started tugging her armour off. Her daggers, still stained with blood, were flung into the corner.

She started breathing frantically as some of the clothing took longer to come off, forcing her to grab the small dagger in her boot and started slicing the material up before chucking them into the fire, watching them burn with a strange satisfaction.

She twisted her body to the side, grabbing the damp cloth and scrubbed at her face, trying to get all of the blood off, dunking the now red coloured cloth into the basin. The water turned red but she didn't care, lifting the cloth once more to her face, desperate to be rid of the stains.

She looked back into the looking-glass to see all the blood had been removed from her face, her skin was now red from being rubbed raw and she winced at the sight of her bloodshot her eyes. She was tired, so tired, and sore from breaking out of Fort Drakon where she and Alistair had been held after the murder of Arl Howe and 'freeing' Anora.

She winced at the thought of the 'Queen' and her suggestion of a treaty before she turned away from the glass, stepping out of her small clothes and stumbling over to the bath, wincing as she dipped a foot into the hot water. She pushed back the pain as she brought her other foot in, sitting down and dragging her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

Her blue eyes stared into the water as the memories returned to her. _Hearing the servants screaming, her door bursting open and the spray of blood as an arrow passed through the servant's chest._

_ Seeing her mother dressed in armour, her trusty bow in place on her back and the fear of entering her sister-in-law's room only to see both her and Oren, her nephew, slaughtered. Hearing her mother's heartbroken sobs as she held Oren's barely warm body to hers before swearing the traitor was going to get what he deserved._

_ Running through the burning estate until they managed to find her father, bleeding heavily, as he lay next to the door to would provide them the escape they needed. She pleaded with them to come with her but her father told her it was too late for him and her mother said she was going to stay behind with him so she could give her daughter a chance._

_ They ran, her and Duncan, and she never faltered, even when she heard her father scream her mother's name, her screams mixing it before they were abruptly cut off._

She tilted her head forward, resting her forehead against her knees. She had held onto the anger, the pain and used to force her forward, even in the face of her brother's uncertain fate. It kept her going…until she finally came face to face with Arl Howe…the man who had been her father's best friend, the one who tore her family apart.

She had killed him, regaining her honour for her family. With that, she felt her heart – which had been semi-frozen since that fateful night Arl Howe had betrayed and attacked her family – shatter.

The first tear slipped free as a harsh sob escaped her lips. She shuddered as the pain of loss flooded through her veins, every memory she had of her family flashed before her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears came faster but it only made them sting.

Damon whined, licking her cheek in comfort only to whine again when she sobbed even harder. The soft sound of the door unlocking caused him to turn his head where he met the soft sad grey eyes of Bodahn, the merchant who was travelling with them.

He lifted a hand, gesturing for the dog to come closer. Damon was torn for a moment before he decided to see what the dwarf wanted and left his mistress side.

Once he reached him, Bodahn stroked the hound's head, rubbing an ear between his fingers as he watched Elissa for a moment longer then looked down at the hound.

"Go, find Alistair," he whispered. Damon gave a low bark before he ran off, leaving the Dwarf staring at the door with sad eyes before he sighed, closed the door and walked away. He just hoped that the young Grey Warden would be able to get through to her - before it was too late.

Alistair was milling about in the library, browsing the titles of the books and being lost in thoughts of the other Grey Warden when he felt something bump against his thigh. Startled, he came out of his thoughts to see Damon looking up at him with sorrowful eyes and he felt his heart clench.

"Is it Elissa?" he asked. He got a bark before the dog spun around and darted out of the library, stopping briefly in the doorway to make sure Alistair was following.

Alistair didn't even hesitate, following the war-hound all the way to Elissa's door where Damon sat down and waited for Alistair to open it. He paused, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for an angry Elissa; he opened the door and stepped in.

He stopped short in the doorway when he spotted his lover. She was hunched over in the bath, her arms wrapped around her legs as she held them to her chest, her face buried in her knees. He could see her shoulders shaking, could hear her harsh sobs – each one driving a dagger into his heart.

He quickly closed the door behind him, knowing full well the servants would have probably already seen him entering the room and the gossip no doubt making their way to Arl Eamon's ears, but right now, he didn't care. She needed him.

"Elissa…" he whispered as he moved closer to the bath, falling to his knees. She turned her head, her light blue eyes meeting his light brown eyes. Her eyes were rimmed with redness, her tears making tracks. He felt tears fill up his, his heart hurting for his love. "Sweetness," he reached out, wiping away a tear.

"Alistair," her bottom lip trembled as more tears spilled free and his arms ached to hold her close to him, to comfort her through her loss.

He slipped his arms around her body, ignoring the water as it soaked his clothes, lifting her out of the bath and onto his lap. She shifted so her face was buried into his neck, her hands clutching his shirt as hot tears slipped down his neck and onto his collarbone.

"I'm here," he whispered, holding her slippery body close to him before he heard a whine. He turned his head to see Damon was sitting next to them with a large towel hanging from his mouth. Alistair gave him a sad smile, one hand scratching the hound behind his ears in thanks before he took the towel and wrapped around her shivering body.

He gently lifted her up and moved over to the fire so he could keep her warm. He was tempted to take her to bed but his clothes were now soaking from the water and her body was still wet, he didn't want to risk her getting sick.

She was silent as he moved; only brief hitches escaping as she tried to control her sobs. Her tears still ran hot tracks and he kissed her forehead as he settled himself in front of the fire, making sure she was still in his lap, his arms tightening around her.

"It didn't work," she whispered into his chest, breaking the silence, her voice so low that he almost missed it.

"What didn't work?" he asked, stroking back her hair.

"Killing him," she whimpered. "It didn't stop the memories." She shook her head. "I keep flashing back to that moment when I came across my sister-in-law and my nephew's body, slain by his men," she whispered, the shirt twisting in her hands as she spoke. "He was only nine. What kind of bastard would kill an innocent child?"

"Elissa," he tipped her head back so he could look into her eyes and felt his heart clench at the broken heart look clear in her blue eyes. He had once told Leliana that he could tell how she was feeling by looking into them and it was no different this time round.

"I…I thought by killing him…I would feel better," she admitted brokenly. "I thought everything would align itself. Justice was served; my family could rest at peace. But it didn't work like that. If anything, I feel empty, hollow. Like my heart has been broken beyond repair."

"Elissa," he took her hand into his, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand. "Your heart is broken," he agreed. "But not beyond repair. You loving me proved that." His brown eyes were warm with love.

"Alistair," she whispered, her heart slowly healing as the love she had for this amazing man filled her. Alistair kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, revelling in the feel of his lips against her skin.

"I'm staying right here," he promised her as he stroked back her hair. "You're important and you need me."

"What about Arl Eamon?" she asked, knowing of the rules the older man had given them when he found out about their relationship. He brushed a lock of her wet hair back, his hand cupping her cheek.

"Forget about him," he ordered gently. "His rules never said I couldn't comfort you." She stared up at his determined face and she felt her heart swell with love for this amazing man she had fallen for.

"Alistair, thank you," she whispered, kissing the corner of his lips before she closed her eyes, resting her forehead against his jaw.

It was moments like this, she was truly thankful to Duncan for managing to convince her to leave her parents that night, she would have never met him, the former Ex-Templar-in-Training who had managed to wormed his way into her heart.

The End


End file.
